Five of Cups — Tarot of the Absurd

Artist: Jessica Rose Shanahan

[This is my third five of cups in all my 14 days of one-card readings. What am I, depressed?]

Interpretation: Inability to see that, when the glass is half-empty, it is, indeed, half-full.

The man in the picture is glum. He is angry and disillusioned. He is sad for his loss and the imperfection of his life. He is sulking because all he can see is what is lost— the four spilled cups in front of him. If he would only look around— take a peek over his shoulder— he would see that all is not lost. One shining cup hovers behind him, floating in the air like an apparition! Do not give up hope! Look for the positive! To do so requires a change in attitude. To see the bright side of a seemingly dismal situation takes a change in point-of-view. Stand up, walk over, turn around. The present situation is unstable and needs to change. Regret is useless. Look and see— what is possible?

Click here to see most of the cards in this deck.

Five of Cups — Napo Tarot

Artist: Napo
Author: Betty Lopez

Interpretation: "Frustration prevents one from seeing the cups brimming with happiness. The three amphoras pour out illusions and bring dejection and melancholy. Disillusionment. Disappointment."

An amphora is a wheel-thrown terracotta container used to store liquid. If these amphoras are pouring out illusions, he must have thought his cargo was more precious than he found it to be upon spilling. Or perhaps it was very precious liquid indeed, and he was under the impression he would be able to manage it without spilling.

I just drew a five of cups two days ago. Am I disappointed and frustrated, as this card suggests? (possibly) Am I lying by not letting on how disappointed and frustrated I actually am? (possibly)

I thought I was going to be able to work through most of this pregnancy, but about a month and a half ago I got fired for pregnancy-induced-moodiness. Plus, my boss was an unappreciative jerk. I thought I was going to be able to be more active than I am, but five days ago I woke up with a pain in my neck so acute I went to see a chiropractor for the first time in my life. So, yeah, I'm frustrated and disappointed, but I don't think my illusions were that great. Not most of them. The illusion that the chiropractor might actually help was briefly large and wonderful. But nothing truly terrible and irredeemable has happened to me. Despite some long hours spent dwelling in the pits of despair, it's actually been quite good. I think it is important to spend a moment (but not too many moments) looking at what is lost before picking up and moving on. Things that are truly lost cannot be had again.

The act of loosing something is an act of presence. Once something is lost, the thing lost is in the past and the present has moved to another moment. It is important to keep up with the present— not in terms of the cut of our jeans or the operating system on our computers— but with our minds. If our minds are constantly elsewhere, then nothing will ever happen in the present. Nothing as good as what did happen or what could happen can happen now if the mind is not present.

Look at what spilled. Turn around. Look at what remains. Take this. Move on.

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Five of Cups — Tarot Piatnik Wien

[NOTE: I apologize in advance if these next few months turn out to be a blog of my pregnancy as revealed through the tarot deck, but we pregnant woman seem to be preoccupied with our own pregnancies.]

Artist: Rudolph Pointer

The interpretive book for this deck (a little white booklet commonly called the LWB) says very little about the individual cards, especially the minors. It has a something to say on cups in general, tho:

"When we have treated the Swords as a symbol of masculinity, it suggests itself to consider the cups decidedly as of a feminine character. The cup, the jug or the goblet are seen as receptacles, for receiving and holding. Often are they associated with feeling and emotion. The emptying of the two jugs on card No. XVII of the major Arcana [The Stars] means nothing else but the detachment from all sentimental bonds. // The cup as it contains fluids logically is matched with the element of water, and its celestial region is the north. // From the religious viewpoint the cup is often identified with the symbolic goblet held by Christ, or with the Holy Grail, the vessel containing Christ's blood."

Under divinatory meanings, this LWB says of this card upright, simply, "respect gained." Reversed, "Unpopularity." I am reading upright. I generally read the 5 of Cups as a period of change, where one need take special care to pay attention not only to the negative qualities, as can be easy, but to the positive aspects of the situation. Paying attention to the positive aspects during difficult time of change gains respect.

The greatest change going on in my life is that I am busy gestating. I put this off for so long (I'm 38!) because before, I could only focus on the negative aspects of having a child. There was a lot I wanted to do. I worked as little as possible and kept my bills low.

I traveled around Central America. I spent a year bicycling around the country. I traveled to the high arctic. I swam for hours on end out in the open ocean. I did things to see what it was like to do them and went to extremes. I played. And the beauties that I saw were incomparable.

At age 28 I decided I needed a profession. I learned to climb trees and became an excellent arborist: a good game. Still, I lived simply, somewhat selfishly, and generally alone.

Eventually I realized I needed to practice commitment. At age 36 I "bought" a house. [note: I will actually own the house at age 66.] A year later, I decided to fall in love and found a suitable candidate. A year later he moved in and I came down with sudden-onset-baby-desire syndrome. I realized, in the most honest sense of the word, I had nothing better to do. Having a child was the best thing. I have left behind the things I used to think were better.

I am surprised to gain respect from my friends who have children. My women-friends are wonderful mothers. I've always looked at them and their devotion to their children and thought, "I could never do that." Now I am ready to try.

Female-self as vessel. Womanly respect gained. Ever-child self and endless child-wonders left behind. Embody motherhood.